Sunday, July 10, 2005

BB6: The Movie

Okay this one took me a couple days and I didn’t find a lot of time yesterday. It’s not like there’s anything to do (although food back later today – allegedly), but like I said, that’s me. Sorry about the lack of posts.

Michael – Brad Pitt. Shut up, it’s my movie.

Eric – there’s an obvious choice here, but instead I’m going with Ving Rhames. An angry, slightly paranoid Ving Rhames. A Ving Rhames who thinks the enemy is always right around the corner.

Beau – I’m at a loss. Jimmy Smits.

Rachel – scary mature woman who I’m scared to talk to. If I tried to flirt with her she’d tear my eyeballs out. We need a younger Joan Allen. Since this is a fake movie, let’s pretend we have a time machine and get the younger Joan Allen.

Kaysar – that guy from the TV show Lost whose name I don’t know. I think he’s actually Iraqi, too.

Sarah – for our secretly married sweetest girl in the world, let’s go with Jennifer Garner. She’s a fav of mine, I think she’s a sweetheart, and I want to hug her. If I get out and she’s married Ben Affleck, I’ll be like, “crap, she married Ben Affleck.” (btw I don’t have anything against Ben Affleck. He actually seems like a nice guy and is from what I’ve heard.)

Jennifer – This is tough. Jennifer is hot but not at the same time. It’s like it depends on the angles. Let’s go with an actress who I also struggle to decide if she’s good looking or not, Reese Witherspoons.

James – Jonathan Lipnicki

April – Sharon Stone – she’s a little older than April, but that’s fine. She can handle that “more machine now than man” thing April has going for her.

Ivette – Nope, I’m not going the easy route and casting the Invisible Woman; let’s do a Rene Zellweger here. I know she’s not Hispanic (we filled that quota with our color-blind casting of Beau), but her scrunchy-face thing is as annoying as Ivette’s complaining. I used to want to help her out, but I’ve realized she’s just angry in general. If she were happy, it would bug her and make her angry. Plus, I know she married that country guy, but I’ll bet Rene is gay. (like Ivette!)

Janelle – this one is tough, surprisingly. I know about 30 actress/models (read: escorts) who look just like Janelle who live right around me, but let’s cast the smart Janelle and make a more interesting film. Angelina Jolie.

Maggie – Edward Norton

Ashlea – well, considering we’re killing her off in the first scene, let’s call and get an extra on the cheap. This leaves more in the budget for my greatest creation…

Howie – We’re going all CGI here. It’s the only way to go. Kind of a combination of a Huffalump (sp?), King Kong, and a perverted Special Olympian. I would die to be able to sketch out what I’m seeing in my head right now for “The Howalump”.

Well, that’s all. Get Tim Burton to direct and you’ve got a guaranteed opening weekend of like 240 dollars.

[ed. note: obviously this post was composed earlier today]

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am wondering whether or not Michael and Kayser are secret "moles" or plants by the CBS staff as one of the secrets in order to provide an insider scoop to the Big Brother house- manipulating the game and trying to expose and explore the game from the inside.....

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fake fake fake fake.. Argh. Still talking about Ivette being gay, and they don't know that in the house yet. Aye Carumba

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The other little piece that I have noticed the Michael blog hinting to is Maggie:

"oh, man"

Edward Norton

Also the fact that there is 8 women and 6 men. Maybe Maggie was originally a man.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Dennis said...

Hmmm... this was posted a couple hours ago, Michael mentioned he heard there'd be real food later, and right now, I just saw Michael getting a serving of spaghetti... good sign or good guess?

7:47 PM  
Anonymous buppy said...

he's obviously hinting at stuff he hasn't revealed he knows yet! you people are hilarious, like everyone is going to waslk around in there stating exactly what they do and do not know!

listen to him on the feeds and michael is very intuitive. it's no surprise to me he's figured out Ivette

you complainers complain when he gives you insite and when he tells you what you've alrady seen on the feed

jerks

7:48 PM  
Blogger Dennis said...

Buppy,

I haven't a clue if this is real or not; it's something new and I wouldn't put it past CBS to add a blog feature, what with home much blogging has exploded since last season...

And see my previous reply. Today's the first time I saw a post of something that I later saw on the feeds. True, getting real food may be a minor thing but I'm more inclined to think this may be real.

If it's not real, whoever's behind it is very, very good...

I haven't seen enough of Ivette to form an opionion if she's obvious, then again my gaydar is usually worse when it comes to women. It's entirely possible that Michael figured her out, though. Most of my family had me figured out. ;>

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well they are careful about the feeds and what they show too. he could be telling Kaysar all about it and we might not know

10:11 PM  
Blogger Icegrrl said...

Hmmmm, sound and fury signifying nothing, Michael is trying really hard to be witty......it ain't working.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol just checked your blog Rhonda! I guess this is real wit:

Stil here
Yup, I am still here, but I DO need a nap.


LOL

btw your aboot 10 year to old to be Gen X. hope your floors are clean grandma

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

The comment about Ben and Jennifer getting married convinces me this is a fake. Everyone knows they got married.

2:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, I haven't been a full-on skeptic until now. If any of you are watching the feeds right now (around 7:30 AM EST), you'll see that Michael just told Kaysar that the only girl in the house he thinks even comes close to being gay or bi is Janelle. CONFIRMED. HE DOES NOT THINK, LET ALONE KNOW THAT IVETTE IS GAY.

4:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No one in the house knows Ivette is gay except Beau. Blogger you are a fraud :-)

4:38 PM  
Blogger Nyx said...

I am thoroughly enjoying this blog real or not. The "howalump"....LMAO!!!

6:22 PM  
Blogger Icegrrl said...

Well anonymous,


Gen X is generally defined as those born between 1961 and 1981.

Check out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_X

I never claimed to be a wit, however I can make the claim that I am not anonymous.

10:48 PM  
Anonymous biggie said...

pssst icegrrl

I think you're funny, but unless oyur name is really "icegrrl" you're anon. also

11:33 AM  
Blogger Icegrrl said...

If you have been using the internet for very long, you might know it is always a good thing to use a username instead of your actual name. Those who know me, know I have used the same username for many years. For example I am and always have been Icegrrl on the Joker's message boards. Also I meant I was not anonymous in as much that my blog is available and accepts comments. Also wherever I post on the internet it is possible to click and either leave me a message or e-mail.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Brent65 said...

The comment about Maggie and Ed Norton was LOL funny. I hope Micheal is trully blogging from inside the house.

10:31 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home