Monday, July 18, 2005

BB6 Wars Episode III: Emperor Midgetine's Empire OR Everyone's a Cap'n!

Cap'n Steroids-Made-Me-Lose-My-Hair: We're best friends, evidenced by his aggressive attempt to hug me the other night. I assume that's what he was doing, anyway, despite the fact that an actual fight would be like a cartoon, where I reach my arm out and hold his head, and he throws punches like crazy but can't reach me.

Cap'n Me-and-Eric-Both-Wear-Las-Vegas-Hospital-Gear-But-Thinks-Nobody-Knows-We-Know- Each-Other: I think she actually likes me, but Eric will bust his [edited] if she says anything.

Cap'n Loco: Eric's top operative. AKA Cap'n Whorvette, Cap'n Loud, Cap'n Cuban-Insanity, Cap'n I-Can't-Shut-Up, and Cap'n Anything-You-Say-Will-Be-Superceded-By-A-Similar-Story-About-Myself-That-I-Will-Tell-Loudly-Meanly-and-Obnoxiously-and-At-the-End-of-Which-I-Will-Add-Something-Nice-About-Myself-That-Is-Not-True-and-Actually-the-Complete-Opposite-of-What-I-Just-Demonstrated-With-My-Story. (example: "I just killed 40 innocent puppies by suffocating them. And I'm so kind to animals.")

Cap'n Beau: I don't really have anything against him, but he's Cap'n Loco's buddy.

Cap'n I'm-Going-To-Weigh-800-Pounds-By-the-Time-This-Show-Is-Over: She always speaks her mind. I admire that.

Cap'n Nothing: Rachel has apparently been programmed to have no use for me. I've tried several times to rewire her, but can't get the hatch to her main circuitboard opened. Frankly, if I could even get the hatch open to flip the personality switch to 'on', that would be fine, even if the result was hate.

Cap'n Toolshed: See Rachel, but more of a dork. (I wanted to say something that rhymes with "hildo", but it would no doubt be edited. [ed. note: good call.]

Cap'n Cap'n-Toolshed's-Girlfriend: See James. (with the addition that she thinks I tried to toe her [edited].)

Cap'n Parakeet: Squawks like a parrot, repeats everything like a parrot, has a fake beak like a parrot.

Kaysar & Janelle are my allies in the Rebel Alliance. Howie is the Force, and permeates all living things.

Next: Episode IV: No Hope


Blogger WinterStarlight said...

Michael, I love your sense of humor. I'm glad you're hanging around the house today rather than hiding out in the gold room. Don't let Cap'n AirHick and Evilette get to you!

3:01 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

who's the 800 lb one? jennifer?

god, i dont have live feeds, but just from the last episode, i hate mouthette and crappy so much.

3:13 PM  
Blogger BB Fan06 said...

I'm rooting for the rebel alliance ;]

6:26 PM  
Blogger WindyDay said...

Go Rebels!

7:25 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Hang tight Michael. Stranger things have happened. Down with Crappy and The Mouth (Ivette)!!!

8:48 PM  
Blogger Xialle said...

Lovin' the names for everyone!

My favorites (from crusing the sites):
Capoleon Blownapart

9:41 PM  
Blogger Mims said...

We love you Michael. I so love your nics for the roomies.

Keep the faith doll! Simmer down. You are playing into Eric's hands.

10:58 PM  
Blogger susie q said...

Michael....they're all a bunch of idiots. You are the best HG of them all. I love your art, and your blog. We want you to stay so badly. In my groups, the majority of the members are for you and Janelle.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Pat Smith said...

Why doesn't Michael keep pushing that idiot's buttons? Doesn't Michael know that Eric is one sassy comment about his wife away from kicking himself off? Get to work, dummy!

12:35 PM  
Blogger nubbebe said...

Big brother reminds me of that movie 1984.
Poor Mike is like Winston in that movie. Trying to be controled by Big Brother to join the cult.
Dont lose yourself Mike like Winston did in 1984.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Icegrrl said...

Cap'n Whorvette! I love it! Best HG nickname since Chi-Whora.

Everytime Eric appears on screen my hubby and I yell ROID RAGE at the TV.

Good luck to ya Mike, you are going to be sorely missed.

10:51 PM  
Blogger dorabora said...


All the best....hope something happens in your favor.

Eric completely defamated your character and I think it's beyond apologies...

I hope the rebel alliance kill the dark sheep....darth bitchatin and emperor steroids must fall :>

10:55 PM  
Blogger Dave said...


11:53 AM  
Blogger Muriel said...

Michael, the night eric the midget came at you I loved the way you were soooo cool and calling him midget and how you made him look like the small man that he really is.
And I hate the way he slandered you. Keep it real and by the way I've always loved a rebel

10:15 PM  

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